Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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