week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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