forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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