im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
