Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
