smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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