I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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