i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
3pm strippers are depressing
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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