dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
