thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
