I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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