I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
