Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
