I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
