Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think my moral compass just broke
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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