i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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