is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
