i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
