Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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