"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize