We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
