I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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