you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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