Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
