Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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