Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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