party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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