I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Boobs are out for the taking
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
