Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
