i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
