I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
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So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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