Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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