He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
