I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
