Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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