"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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