In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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