I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do vagina's smell?
nutella sex= disaster
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i drank out of a bidet.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
