the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
