Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The struggles of a small town man whore
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
