We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
