Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My vagina is very pro this idea
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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