I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
