Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
