do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
