I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
