Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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