A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Soap is not a condiment
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
