I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
