hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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