How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
