dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
