I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
