She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
