Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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