Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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