I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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