I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
