omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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